Wednesday, March 23, 2011

fear of commitment...

I love religious icons.  The trashier the better.   I decided to make up a little ghetto where my collection could all live, on a bookshelf in the kitchen.   After I set it up, I stood back and pondered the new neighbourhood that I had just constructed.  Which lead me to ponder the big picture.  The real picture. 

I looked at what I had created just out of stuff I had laying around, and it was quite surreal to think that the junky stuff I collect, was actually playing itself out in real life, on a world scale.  The little army dudes, US dollars, the fall of dictators like Sadam & the outdated currency they leave in their wake, Jesus and Mary hanging round, looking all heavenly (yet aloof), the mosque alarm clock which blares Arabic chanting each morning and arvo for prayers, and Quan Yin just sitting there watching over everything, like a good "Mother of Compassion & Mercy" deity does, ya know.

It freaked me out a bit.  I realised that I had no particular attachment to any of them, and that I was just covering all bases of my agnostic fear.

But like all propaganda for all religions...."I realised there was something missing".

The fact that, he with the biggest clout wins!  Whether it's religious political parties or different religions trying to sway democratic laws, he with the biggest guns wins.

That's when I subdivided my neighbourhood and called in the dude with the biggest guns of all.

Hulk Hogan is President of my ghetto and his guns trump all.... 

I no longer live in fear.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Seemed like a good idea at the time...

A few weeks back, Kyla went to visit her nan in Melbourne for 2 nights and for some random reason I thought, "I could paint the kitchen & surprise her before she gets back".  Clearly, I am an idiot.  

We've lived here for 6 years and the kitchen was hideous.  It was like you were stuck in a bad Swedish sauna in 1981.  The pine timber was, to say the least, overwhelmingly hideous.  We kept putting it off because kitchens are so expensive, so I decided that I could wait no longer and damn it, if we couldn't afford a new kitchen, then we were just gonna have to make do with the old one.

10 days later, primer, sealer, undercoat, 2 coats of acrylic, 2 coats of enamel, evil aluminim windows, french fricken bastard windows, a gimp shoulder from RSI....and we're finally done.

It's always 12 months between renovations here, and that's why.  I always seem to under calculate the sheer monstrosity of the work at hand.  If I was a tradie, doing quotes & stuff, I would be broke - that I know for sure.

Anyhow, the renovation was called "let's do the kitchen with a budget of bugger all".

This is the result.  Not to everyone's taste I suppose, but I do love a tip scavenge....and I do love my wifey for helping me even though she didn't have to x

The Swedish Sauna before Jenny Craig

....and after Jenny Craig

we still have the ugly stone rock climbing wall...but that's another reno